What I don't Want...

My friend Bob is a gregarious man and an ordained minister to boot!  He loves his calling, but especially enjoys performing wedding ceremonies because it makes him feel great to be God’s vessel in joining two people in holy matrimony.  When he can, he likes to keep in touch with those he has wed and find out how their lives have unfolded. 

In the several years Bob has been officiating, he has also been called upon to perform the occasional funeral service as well.  Funerals are in many ways much more challenging than weddings, but Bob finds it fulfilling to be able to provide comfort to people during a difficult and confusing spiritual time.

Bob knew the day might come when he would be called to perform the funeral services for someone he had joined in marriage.  He knew it would be a difficult day because of how close he felt to those he had married, but most of them were very young and that day was far into the future.  Or so he thought.  He had no idea the day would come so soon or just how hard it actually would be. 

A little more than five years ago Bob married a young couple, the groom then 23 and the bride 21.  The two were very happy and they were blessed with a vibrant little girl, born in 2006 and a strapping boy, born just last year.  Bob and the couple became friends as he watched their marriage mature and their children grow.

Two weeks ago the young groom was found dead, the victim of an undetected congenital heart defect.  No one ever saw it coming and there was no time to prepare.  Bob said it was the hardest phone call he ever had to take.

At the funeral, Bob did his best to comfort those who mourned.  He finished the service and was about to close the casket when the five year old daughter asked him to wait a moment.  She came forward with tears in her eyes, clutching a tattered and well loved blanket.  She asked Bob to lift her up, which he did.  She handed Bob the blanket and asked him to put it in the casket before he closed it because she didn’t want her Daddy to get cold.

How can you hear a story like that and not bawl your eyes out?  My prayers today are not only for that little girl, but for my little girls as well.  I find myself being selfish for them.   I don’t want them to have to face what that little girl faced.  I want watch them graduate, and go to proms and college.  I want to help them avoid mistakes, and help them when they don’t.   I want to bring them up in the ways that I should. I want to reject passivity, lead courageously and guide them spiritually. 

I want to do this and do this right.  If I thought I had motivation before, I don’t know what to call what I feel right now.  I just don’t want to be a fool anymore.